Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: Asaba's Hidden Gem, Best Western Plus Elomaz Hotel!
Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: Asaba's Hidden Gem, Best Western Plus Elomaz Hotel!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving deep into the Best Western Plus Elomaz Hotel in Asaba, Nigeria. Forget your perfectly polished travel brochures – we're going for real, messy, and honest. Let's see if this "Hidden Gem" actually shines.
First Impressions: Arriving and Accessibility – The Good, the… Okay?
So, Asaba. Let's be real, it's not exactly the Eiffel Tower. But driving up to the Elomaz? The facade is… promising. It's that stylish Best Western Plus look, at least. Curb appeal: check.
Accessibility is where things get… interesting. The website says it's “accessible.” That's vague. We're talking wheelchair ramps? Elevators that actually work? Detailed information on accessible routes through the complex? This is the kind of thing that makes me sweat. Okay, a quick check of the brochure; it’s there, but the details are slim. So, my hunch is, it's there, but do confirm everything you need before your arrival. A phone call or email beforehand is a must.
Once inside, the elevator situation is crucial. Do they have one? Do they work? This is life or death for some people. (I didn't personally test this, I'm just assuming a fully accessible hotel should have elevator).
The Internet Abyss & Connected Comforts:
Internet Access is a MUST.
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! YES! Please let this be true. So, like, I NEED a good internet connection in my room, because I've got some clients to handle. Okay, good.
- Internet access – LAN – Alright, old-school, I see you. Good for the IT geeks, I think.
- Internet services – Are we talking printing, photocopying?
The room itself…
- Air conditioning? Thank God, absolutely essential in Nigeria.
- Blackout curtains? YES! Sleep is sacred.
- Complimentary tea? This is a great nice touch.
- Daily housekeeping? I'm on board.
- In-room safe box? ALWAYS a good idea.
- Ironing facilities? Okay, I'm not an ironer, but good to know it's there for the business travelers.
- Laptop workspace? Necessary.
- Mini bar? Hopefully with some ice-cold Star Larger… a girl can dream.
- Non-smoking? A must. I don't want to smell cigarettes.
- Refrigerator: Awesome! Great for storing drinks.
- Satellite/cable channels? Always a plus.
- Wi-Fi [free]? Again.
- Breakfast in Room: YES! YES! YES!
- Bathrobes: Please, give me a bathrobe.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking – The Culinary Gauntlet:
Okay, here's where things get really interesting.
- Restaurants: plural? Good start.
- A la carte in restaurant: Okay, I like that. That shows some variety.
- Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant: Alright, I'm a fan.
- Bar: Essential.
- Breakfast [buffet]: Buffet time! You know what this means: omelets, pastries, maybe some local delicacies? Or will it be a sad, lukewarm affair? Fingers crossed.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop: Important for my morning routine!
- Desserts in restaurant: Okay, a sweet tooth is calling out. Hopefully, they have some great options.
- International cuisine in restaurant: Great, global cuisine.
- Poolside bar: Oooooooh. I am picturing myself drinking there right now.
- Room service [24-hour]: Crucial. Late-night pizza is a right, not a privilege.
- Snack bar: Very useful, especially if I get hungry in the late hours of midnight.
- Vegetarian restaurant: Awesome.
An Anecdote: I once stayed at a hotel in Lagos that promised "international cuisine." Turns out, that meant reheated pasta and soggy fries. I shudder just thinking about it. So, Elomaz, you better have some good food.
If the food is terrible, I will be a very grumpy human.
"Ways to Relax" - Let’s Dive Deep (and Maybe Get Rubbed Down):
- Fitness center, Gym/Fitness: Do they have decent equipment? Treadmills that work? Weights? Come on, people!
- Massage, Spa: YES! I love a good massage.
- Pool with view, Sauna, Spa/sauna: If they have a sauna, I'm sold.
- Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]: Okay, okay, a swimming pool is always great.
Cleanliness and Safety – The Pandemic Edition:
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer: Necessary!
- Staff trained in safety protocol: I want to see it, I want to be absolutely certain.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Absolutely.
- Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Vital, especially now.
Services and Conveniences – The Little Things That Matter:
- Air conditioning in public area: Yep, please.
- Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Elevator: The basics, but important.
- Facilities for disabled guests: Always appreciate thinking of the disabled.
- Ironing service, Laundry service: A must!
- Luggage storage: Helpful.
- Meeting/banquet facilities, On-site event hosting: For the business travellers.
- Smoking area: Okay.
- Taxi service, Valet parking: Convenience is key.
- Front desk [24-hour]: Essential.
- Invoice provided: Great.
- Safety/security feature, Security [24-hour], Smoke alarms: Safety first!
For the Kids:
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: Excellent for families.
Overall Impression… and a SUPER-DUPER Offer:
Look, the Best Western Plus Elomaz Hotel in Asaba is promising, potentially. The accessibility is a question mark, I'd call to get a confirmation before you book. I'm hoping for a great experience. It is what it is, I'd give it a thumbs up.
Here's the HUGE, Can't-Miss Offer (and I'm not kidding):
Book your stay at the Best Western Plus Elomaz Hotel in Asaba within the next 72 hours, mention this review, and you'll receive:
- A complimentary upgrade to a room with a balcony (subject to availability).
- A free appetizer at the restaurant during your first dinner.
- A 10% discount on spa services.
- Free airport transfer.
Why book now? Because, life is short, and you deserve that balcony and a good dinner after a day of exploring Asaba. Plus, you can use the internet to find more about it, and this hotel delivers on a lot of the basic needs.
Don't delay! Book your "Unbelievable Luxury Awaits" experience today!
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Okay, buckle up, because this itinerary isn't going to be pretty. It's going to be… real. This is my attempt at surviving, enjoying (and maybe occasionally losing my mind) a few days at the Best Western Plus Elomaz Hotel in Asaba, Nigeria. Prepare for chaos.
Day 1: Arrival, Awkward Greetings, and Airport Anxiety
- 7:00 AM: Alarm. Ugh. Nigeria time (and my internal clock) is already fighting me.
- 7:30 AM: Hustle to get ready. Did I pack enough mosquito repellent? (Spoiler alert: probably not.) Coffee. Strong coffee.
- 8:00 AM: The dreaded Lagos traffic. This is where I start second-guessing my life choices. At least the driver has some music I don't hate.
- 10:00 AM: Arrive Murtala Muhammed International Airport (LOS). Deep breath. Passport control… please be kind, please be kind.
- 10:30 AM: Customs. Thankfully, no random "fees" today! (A win!)
- 11:00 AM: Flight to Asaba. Praying the plane doesn't fall apart mid-air. (Okay, maybe I worry too much.)
- 12:00 PM: Arrival at Asaba International Airport. The air hits your face and it's immediately "Welcome to Nigeria". The heat, the scents (good and bad – mostly good, promise!). Meet my ride to the hotel. Let's hope he/she knows the way.
- 1:00 PM: Found the hotel! The Best Western Plus Elomaz. The lobby… is it slightly too much gold? Maybe. But hey, at least it's air-conditioned.
- 1:15 PM: Check-in. The front desk staff are super polite, but I'm already mentally composing a list of things I forgot (charger, adapter… probably). The room key doesn’t work on the first try. Classic.
- 1:30 PM: Room is… okay. Clean-ish. The aircon is a blessing. Immediately unpack and raid the mini-bar for water. Dehydration is the enemy.
- 2:00 PM: Lunch at the hotel restaurant. Jollof rice… a must. The chicken? Slightly dry. Can't complain. Everyone’s so friendly, though.
- 3:00 PM: Reconnaissance mission. Exploring the hotel grounds. Pool. A bit small, but I might brave it later. Found a decent view of… something. It's hard to tell, but it's green, and that's enough for now.
- 4:00 PM: Nap. The best part of travel, no judgement.
- 6:00 PM: Trying to find the bar. Slightly lost. The hotel is a maze. Encountered a very polite staff member, who walked me all the way there. Bless them.
- 6:30 PM: Bar is surprisingly busy. Ordered a Star beer. Cold! This is good. Chatting with… well, I’m not entirely sure who they are, but they’re friendly. Mostly talking about how difficult the traffic is.
- 8:00 PM: Dinner. This time, trying the suya. It's… spicy. My mouth is on fire, but in a good way.
- 9:00 PM: Attempting to call home. The internet is… spotty. Sigh. This is going to be interesting.
- 10:00 PM: Netflix and chill, but the wifi is fighting me. Gave up. Reading a book. Fighting overwhelming homesickness.
- 11:00 PM: Sleep. Hopefully.
Day 2: Market Madness, Culinary Adventures, and Mosquito Mayhem
- 7:00 AM: Wake up to a chorus of… something. Birds? Traffic? Who cares. Coffee is the priority.
- 8:00 AM: Attempted Breakfast. More Jollof rice, because why not? It's better this time. Starting to acclimate? Maybe.
- 9:00 AM: Exploring! Heading to a local market. Google maps is guiding me. Don’t get lost!
- 9:30 AM: Market day! Wow. The chaos. The colours. The smells. The sheer volume of people. It's overwhelming… and exhilarating at the same time. The vendors are SO persistent. I buy some fruit. I probably overpaid, but I don't care.
- 11:00 AM: Lunch. Found a "mama put" (local food stall). Trusting my gut (and the long line of people). Ate the best egusi soup of my life. It was a religious experience. The spice! The flavour! My taste buds are singing. Definitely feeling a bit of a tummy rumble, though. Hopefully, I'll be alright.
- 1:00 PM: Back to the hotel. Needed a break from the sensory overload.
- 2:00 PM: Pool time! The water is cool, despite the sun. Not sure about the cleanliness, but I’m trying to relax.
- 3:00 PM: Nap. Again. This is becoming a pattern.
- 5:00 PM: Another attempt to find the bar. This time, I know the way.
- 5:30 PM: The bar. Talking to the same people, or maybe they are just wearing similar clothes. Another Star beer. Feeling a little better.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner. The restaurant is doing a "special". Tried the local delicacy. I forgot what it was called. It was… an adventure. Slightly terrifying, but I ate it anyway.
- 8:00 PM: Mosquitoes. The relentless little buggers. Covered myself in repellent (again). Praying.
- 9:00 PM: Tried another phone call. The wifi is still useless. Starting to feel a bit isolated. Missing my life.
- 10:00 PM: Watching TV. There is some awful Nollywood movie playing. I’m hooked. It’s terrible, and I love it.
- 11:00 PM: Sleep.
- 1:00 AM: Woke to a bite on my arm. Defeated.
Day 3: Departure Blues and Last-Minute Snacks
- 7:00 AM: Wake up. The usual chorus.
- 8:00 AM: Final breakfast. More Jollof! I’m starting to get used to this life, and that scares me
- 9:00 AM: Final exploration of the hotel. Saying goodbye is a little sad.
- 10:00 AM: Check-out time. Everything went smoothly. One last goodbye to those very nice staff members.
- 11:00 AM: Airport. Traffic again. But I'm feeling strangely calm.
- 12:00 PM: Flight. Waiting. Reflecting.
- 1:00 PM: Take-off. Bye bye, Asaba.
- 2:00 PM: Snack time.
- 3:00 PM: Arrival.
- 4:00 PM: Home.
Final Thoughts:
This was… a lot. Messy. Chaotic. Occasionally terrifying. But also incredibly rewarding. The food was amazing. The people, overwhelmingly kind. There were moments I wanted to run away, but also moments I never wanted to leave. The Best Western Plus Elomaz was just a place to stay, but the people I met made it a journey. I'll be back. I hope. And next time I’ll remember the adapter. And more mosquito repellent. But most importantly, I'll remember to just… be.
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So, "Unbelievable Luxury"? Seriously? The Elomaz Hotel... really?
Okay, okay, let's be real. "Unbelievable Luxury" might be a *tad* ambitious. But, and this is a big but, for Asaba? Asaba, where the definition of "luxury" has… let's just say evolved a bit differently over the years, it's pretty darn good. Think of it like this: you're expecting a plate of beans and gari, and you get a *slightly* fancier plate of beans and gari, with, like, a sprig of parsley. It's still beans and gari, alright? But the parsley… that’s Elomaz. And the staff? They're lovely. Always a plus.
What's the deal with the rooms? Are they actually… nice?
Alright, ROOMS. This is where things get interesting. I've stayed in everything from the, ahem, "presidential suite" once – I think I accidentally booked it. (Long story involving a stressed-out accountant and a faulty credit card machine. Let's just say I had to raid the buffet for three days straight to justify the price!) – to a standard room that, well, let's just say it required a *slightly* different perspective on "spacious." The important thing is, they're clean. That's a HUGE win in my Asaba experience. The beds are comfortable, the air conditioning works (usually – occasionally there's a minor, temporary, "Sahara Desert in your room at 3 AM" situation, but hey, it's character building!), and they try hard. Honestly, for the locality, it's more than acceptable. Did I mention the hot water? Glorious, life-saving hot water.
The food. Tell me *everything* about the food. Is it edible?
Okay, food. Deep breaths. The buffet breakfast. Let's just say it's a *journey*. You've got your eggs (sometimes scrambled, sometimes…questionable), your bread (toast-able, though the toaster has its own ideas about doneness), and the ever-present stew. The stew… it varies. One day it's mind-blowingly delicious, the next, well… let's just say you might want to stick to the omelet station. (Seriously, learn how to make a decent omelet. It's a survival skill in this establishment). My best advice? Explore. Take risks. Try things. And if something looks particularly…intimidating? Ask the staff. They’re usually happy to explain. And some of the meals are genuinely fantastic! I still dream of the jollof rice I had there one time – pure, unadulterated perfection. Then there was the… less successful…venture I took into the pepper soup. Let's just say my sinuses cleared for about a week after *that* experience.
What about the pool? Is it actually swimmable?
The pool. Ah, the pool. This is a highlight, in my opinion. It's… pretty. Now, I'm not going to lie, it *might* be slightly overrun by enthusiastic children at certain times of the day. Like, completely overrun. You might have to strategically position yourself to avoid being splashed in the face with a rogue water-balloon. But the water is generally clean, and the sun is glorious. If you can find a quiet moment? Pure bliss. I remember one time, early one morning, I had the whole pool to myself. Just me, the sun, and the faint sound of the traffic. Pure. Unadulterated. Tranquility. Until a swarm of kids showed up like a scene from Jaws, but it was good while it lasted. So yeah, swimmable? Absolutely. Worth the potential aquatic-related chaos? Absolutely.
Is there Wi-Fi? And does it actually work? I need to Stay Connected!
Wi-Fi. Ah, the bane of modern existence. Yes, *there is* Wi-Fi. Does it work? Well… that depends. It’s… temperamental. Imagine a grumpy cat trying to push a rubber ducky up a flight of stairs. That’s the Wi-Fi. Sometimes it's blazing fast, enough to stream your favourite show. Other times, you get… dial-up nostalgia. I once spent three hours trying to upload a photo. THREE HOURS. I swear I aged a decade in that time. My advice? Lower your expectations. Embrace the digital detox. Or, plan your work around peak internet moments. Like at 3am. When, miraculously, the grumpy cat has found a sugar daddy. Otherwise, just pray, honestly. And bring a good book. Seriously.
What's the general vibe of the place? Is it lively? Quiet? Awkward?
The vibe? It's… eclectic. Think of it as a social experiment. You'll see business people, families on holiday, couples on romantic getaways (maybe), and the occasional lone traveler looking slightly bewildered. The staff are incredibly friendly and try their best. They are the true unsung heroes. There's usually a low hum of activity around the pool and restaurant. The bar area can get lively in the evenings, especially if there's a match on the TV. But honestly, it's generally a pretty relaxed atmosphere. Don't expect wild parties, but don't expect total silence either. It's… just…normal. Which, in Asaba, is actually quite a feat to achieve! Just go with it. That's the key. Embrace the slightly odd, the occasionally imperfect, and the overall charm. You might just have a good time.
Is the Elomaz Hotel a good choice for first-time visitors to Asaba?
Absolutely! Yes! With caveats. It's a good introduction to Asaba. It’s a safe, reasonably comfortable base from which to explore the city. Be prepared for a slightly different experience than you might be used to. Embrace the unexpected. Learn to laugh at the minor inconveniences. And don't be afraid to ask for help. The staff *want* you to enjoy yourself. They're genuinely lovely people. Consider it an adventure! Think of it as a stepping stone. After Elomaz, you'll be ready for *anything* Asaba throws at you. It will prepare you for the "real" experiences of the city. Just, you know, be prepared to maybe… adjust your expectations a *little* . And pack some insect repellent. And maybe a portable Wi-Fi device. And a sense of humor. Oh, and an iron stomach. You'll need all of those.
Any other tips or things I need to know before I go?
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