Astoria Palawan: Your Dream Philippine Paradise Awaits!
Astoria Palawan: Your Dream Philippine Paradise Awaits!
Astoria Palawan: Paradise Found (and Maybe a Few Quirks Along the Way) - A Brutally Honest Review
Okay, folks, let's talk Astoria Palawan. The dream Philippine paradise, right? Well, buckle up, because I’m about to give you the unvarnished truth, complete with my questionable life choices and the occasional existential crisis that inevitably hits on a tropical vacation. Because let's be real, paradise isn't all sunshine and rainbows all the time.
First, the Basics - Accessibility, and (Let's Be Honest) The Getting There Bit…
- Accessibility: Astoria Palawan gets some props here. They've got facilities for disabled guests, and an elevator to get around. But honestly, navigating the Filipino islands can be rough with mobility issues. Just be prepared to inquire about specific needs – things can be a little, ahem, "flexible" in practice.
- Getting There: Flights to Puerto Princesa (PPS) were straightforward enough. No epic turbulence, no screaming babies… a small miracle in itself. Then it was a transfer to a van arranged by the hotel. The drive? It was a drive. About an hour or so, and depending on the driver, could be anything from a scenic tour to a rollercoaster ride. Just remember: deep breaths and embrace the adventure!
The Room: My Temporary Home Away From Home (and My Personal Sanity Saver)
Okay, let's go inside – my sanctuary! My room was amazing.
Available in all rooms: Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens.
- Wi-Fi [Free]: Oh, the internet! Free Wi-Fi. Now, let's be honest, in a paradise, the internet takes a back seat. The Wi-Fi sometimes felt like it was struggling to connect with the 21st century, especially when I tried to upload those perfect Instagram pics. But hey, it was free, and it worked enough to check emails and keep up with the world (or at least, pretend to).
- Air Conditioning/Blackout Curtains: Absolute godsends. Trust me, the Palawan sun is relentless. And the blackout curtains? They saved me from the early morning rays and allowed for those glorious naps.
- The Bed: Extra long bed = bliss! The pillows were wonderfully fluffy. And I got great sleep.
- Additional Toilet & Separate Shower/Bathtub: Score!
Room Sanitization Opt-Out Available: Nice to know they're taking it seriously (and you can say no if you want). *Rooms Sanitized Between Stays, *Anti-viral cleaning products (Good to see). *Daily Disinfection in common areas: All the boxes that count.
Things to DO (and How I Tried to Relax - Spoiler Alert: It Wasn't Always Pretty)
This is where Astoria truly shines. They've got the activities, and if you're looking for chill, this is your place.
- Swimming Pool/Pool with View: The pool? Gorgeous. The view? Instagram-worthy. I spent hours just floating, watching the clouds drift by and trying (and failing) to avoid thinking about the mountain of laundry waiting for me back home.
- Spa: I succumbed (finally) to a massage in the spa. They went above and beyond. I opted for the "traditional" massage. The stress just melted off my shoulders. The only downside? I nearly drooled on the pillow and snored. Professional.
- Sauna/Steamroom: Did I use them every day? Almost. Those things are pure detoxification heaven.
- Fitness Center/Gym/Fitness: I intended to use the fitness center. I did a single, pathetic workout. I blame the cocktails.
- Body Scrub/Body Wrap: You know how I mentioned trying to avoid thinking about laundry? Yeah, the body scrub helped with that.
- Ways to Relax: Basically, everything I've mentioned above falls into this category. Plus, just wandering, taking photos, and generally being a tourist.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (Because We Need Fuel, People!)
Restaurants/Poolside Bar/Coffee Shop/Snack Bar: Plenty of options! The buffet breakfast was my personal highlight:
- Asian Breakfast/Western Breakfast: Both were on offer. I alternated between the noodle soup and the pancakes.
- Buffet in Restaurant: Everything I needed.
- Breakfast in Room: The ultimate treat. The room service was pretty speedy.
Food Delivery: They don't do this…which is a shame.
Happy Hour: YES! Because what's a vacation without a perfectly timed cocktail?
A la carte in restaurant/ International cuisine in restaurant/Western cuisine in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant: You're covered for options,
Let's Talk Food Mishaps, Imperfections, and My Honest Feelings
- The Mosquitoes: Okay, real talk. They’re plentiful, but the hotel provides bug repellent. Still, bring your own, just in case.
- The Food: Generally good. But, sometimes it could take a long time to serve dishes.
- The Staff The staff? I'd rate them a solid 9/10. They were friendly, helpful, and always smiling, even when I was probably being extra demanding.
- The Little Things: The complimentary water bottles were a lifesaver. The robes were ridiculously comfortable. The little touches made the experience extra special.
Services and Conveniences (Because, You Know, Life)
- Laundry Service: They'll do your laundry – which, after a week of swimming and sweating, is a necessity.
- Cash Withdrawal: They do.
- Concierge/Doorman: Always helpful.
- Daily Housekeeping: Spotless.
- Luggage Storage: They held my bags.
- Concierge/Doorman: Always helpful.
- Currency Exchange: They do.
- **Food delivery, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage,
- Gift/souvenir shop: I ended up buying some stuff for "the folks back home."
For the Kids… (And the Young at Heart)
- Babysitting: They've got it!
- Family/child friendly/Kids facilities/Kids meal: Definitely catered for kids.
Cleanliness and Safety (Because We're Living in the Apocalypse, Kinda)
- Hygiene Certification, Daily disinfection in common areas, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment : Good!
- CCTV in common areas/CCTV outside property/Fire extinguisher/Front desk [24-hour]/Smoke alarms/Security [24-hour]: Excellent.
Getting Around (Because You Can't Stay on the Beach All the Time)
- Airport transfer: Easy peasy.
- Car park [free of charge]/Car park [on-site]: Handy.
- Taxi service: Readily available.
Internet (Because Even in Paradise, You Need to Check Your Emails)
- Internet Access/Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!: Yes, yes, and yes. But see my comments above ;)
The Verdict: Should You Book Astoria Palawan?
Absolutely. But… Come with realistic expectations. It’s not a perfectly polished experience, like some luxury resorts, but it's beautiful, relaxing, and full of opportunities for genuine escapism.
My Personal Highlight: That massage. Pure, unadulterated bliss. I may have considered staying there permanently, just to avoid the responsibilities of life.
And the Downsides (Because I’m Honest): The internet could be dodgy, and some extra activities could use a little polish.
The Bottom Line: If you're looking for a chilled-out paradise with a touch of imperfection and a heaping spoonful of awesome, Astoria Palawan is your place.
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Astoria Palawan: My Own Private Paradise… or Maybe Just My Own Private Disaster? (Day 1-4)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your perfectly-curated Instagram feed. This is real life. This is me, probably sweating my brains out, and this is my attempt at documenting my Astoria Palawan adventure. Let's be honest, the "adventure" part is debatable. Mostly, it's me trying not to burn to a crisp, kill a crab, and avoid the existential dread that inevitably creeps in when you’re surrounded by such… pristine beauty.
Day 1: Arrival & Immediate Existential Crisis (aka "Is This Heaven? Or Just Really Expensive Sand?")
- 10:00 AM (ish): Arrived in Puerto Princesa. Airport. Small. Humid. Almost instantly regretting wearing jeans. The transfer to Astoria was smooth, though. Or, rather, smooth in the way that all transfers are – a polite driver, air con blasting, and the faint scent of desperation mixed with tropical flowers.
- 12:00 PM: Check-in. The lobby is, and I say this with total sincerity, gorgeous. Like, magazine-worthy. I'm immediately thinking I don't belong. My luggage, which is currently radiating a distinct "I've been through the wringer" vibe, probably agrees.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch at Austra restaurant. Beautifully presented food, but frankly, I'm too busy squawking about the prices. Is it worth it? Probably. Can I afford it? Debatable. My bank account weeps silently. Ordered the seafood platter (because when in Rome… or Astoria… or Palawan…). Ate every single shrimp. No regrets.
- 3:00 PM: Found my room. Amazing! Ocean view! Balcony! Wait… is that a giant gecko on the ceiling? Okay, deep breaths. He's just… guarding the room? Building a family? Suddenly, I'm questioning my life choices, my insectophobia, and whether I should have brought spray.
- 4:00 PM: Finally, beach time! The sand is like flour. The water is the perfect shade of turquoise. But here's the thing: The sun is a relentless enemy. Seriously, I'm a ginger, I'm basically a walking solar panel. Burnt. Immediately. Even with the strongest SPF known to mankind.
- 6:00 PM: Sunset cocktails at the Crimson bar. Stunning views. Deliciously overpriced cocktails (worth it though, right?). Suddenly, all is forgiven. The gecko-god is forgotten. The pain of the sunburn is momentarily subdued. Life is… good. For a fleeting moment.
Day 2: Island Hopping (or "Me vs. the Sea Sickness")
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast buffet. Honestly, the buffet is a whole thing. So many options. I make questionable life choices and pile my plate to the brim. Regret ensues. But! The mangoes are divine.
- 9:00 AM: Island hopping tour. Yay! Or, at least, yay in theory. I'm terrified of boats. And the ocean. And everything that lives in the ocean. Still, I'm here, I'm committed.
- 10:00 AM: Heading to the first island: Sandbars! We stop to take pictures. The ocean looks beautiful. I'm fighting a losing battle with seasickness.
- 11:00 AM: Second island; Snorkeling! I put my head under water I see so many fish. I loved it.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch. Grilled fish, rice, the usual. Thankfully, the seasickness is subsiding. Maybe the fresh air is helping? Or the sheer terror of drowning. Either way, I'm functioning.
- 1:00 PM: Third island: Hidden Lagoon. The lagoon is indeed hidden! And beautiful! And tranquil. I'm starting to actually… enjoy this. I even manage to get a decent photo without looking like I’m about to throw up. Achievement unlocked!
- 3:00 PM: Back to the resort. Passed out on a sunlounger. Woke up covered in sand and regret. Sunburn is back with a vengeance.
- 7:00 PM: Ate some Sinigang na Hipon (Filipino soup) because it was good. And because I'm trying to embrace the local culture. My tummy, however, is not entirely on board.
Day 3: Spa Day & Self-Doubt (aka "Can I REALLY afford this?")
- 9:00 AM: Slept in! Glorious! The gecko made no appearance which I am grateful for.
- 10:00 AM: Breakfast buffet, part two. This time, I'm more strategic. Less food. More mango.
- 12:00 PM: Spa time! Had a full-body massage. Heavenly. Utterly, completely heavenly. I drifted off mid-massage and was promptly woken by a rogue mosquito. Still, I emerged feeling slightly less tense and infinitely more broke.
- 3:00 PM: Read a book by the pool. Tried to look relaxed and sophisticated. Failed miserably. Kept staring at my feet, scrutinizing my toenail polish. Is it chipping? Is it offensive to be wearing the same polish for three days? My inner monologue is the gift that keeps on giving (me anxiety).
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at Austrarestaurant again. Ordered the grilled fish again, because, well, I'm a creature of habit and also a little scared of trying anything new. Did I mention it's expensive? But the atmosphere is perfect.
- 8:00 PM: Tried to watch a movie on my balcony. Got eaten alive by mosquitos. Gave up. Went to bed, defeated.
Day 4: Beach Bum & Reflection (or, "Wait, Am I Supposed To Be Doing Something?")
- 9:00 AM: Slept in again. This is becoming a pattern.
- 10:00 AM: Final buffet hurrah! I'm going to miss those mangoes. And the coffee. And the fact that someone else is making my food.
- 11:00 AM: Beach time! I've learned my lesson (kind of). Slathered myself in sunscreen like it was a religious ritual. Spent the morning swimming, reading, and generally feeling… content. Almost.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch and a little shopping. I need a souvenir! Found a beautiful shell necklace, bought it instantly.
- 3:00 PM: Packed my bags. Trying to decide if I should extend my stay or just call it good. Considering the sunburn, the financial situation, and the constant battle with existential dread, maybe it's time to go home. But then I look at the ocean. And the sand. And the sky. And something shifts. Maybe… just maybe… I'm starting to relax.
- 6:00 PM: Goodbye dinner at Austra. A farewell to the place. A bittersweet sentiment, a mix of relief and regret.
- 8:00 PM: Flight.
Final Thoughts:
Astoria Palawan? Absolutely beautiful. A true slice of paradise. Did I handle it with grace and sophistication? Probably not. Did I survive? Yes. Did I enjoy it? Mostly. Would I go back? Maybe. Once the sunburn fades and my bank account has recovered. Until then, this clumsy, sunburnt, slightly seasick adventurer will always remember the gecko, the mangoes, and the sheer, overwhelming beauty of it all.
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Astoria Palawan: Your Dream Philippine Paradise (Maybe...?) - FAQs from Someone Who's Actually Been!
Okay, is Astoria Palawan *actually* paradise? Like, Instagram-worthy paradise?
Alright, let's be real. Instagram? Yeah, most angles *could* be Instagrammable. But paradise? It depends on your definition. I went expecting… well, a floating castle, I guess? Instead, it's more like a really *beautiful* theme park. Lots of manicured lawns, those signature villas perched on the hillsides... it’s undeniably pretty, but also super... planned. You know? Like, a meticulously crafted experience. Don't get me wrong, the sunrises are AMAZING. Seriously, breathtaking. I almost cried the first morning. Almost. Then I realized I hadn't had coffee. So, paradise? Maybe a *slightly* manufactured version. But still, a damn good one.
How do I get there? Is travel a nightmare?
Getting there isn’t *terrible*. You fly into Puerto Princesa (PPS), which is thankfully a lot more organized than some other Philippine airports I've been to. Then, it’s a transfer. Astoria usually arranges it, which is convenient. The drive is… well, it’s Palawan. Expect some winding roads, beautiful scenery (seriously, pull over and take pictures!), and the occasional, "Oh crap, is that a carabao?" moment. Allow a couple of hours. Bring snacks! And Dramamine if you get carsick. Trust me on that one. I didn't, but my friend Karen nearly lost it, twice.
What are the rooms like? I want luxury!
The rooms are… good. Really good. We stayed in a villa, which was awesome. Private plunge pool? Yes, please! The design is modern, tasteful, and the beds were crazy comfortable. Like, I slept for a solid ten hours straight one night. The only ‘complaint’ - and I use that term loosely - is that the villas are spread out. Walking everywhere is quite the exercise in the Philippine heat, and good luck waiting for a buggy. Seriously, once took 20 minutes. Bring your hiking shoes!
Is there anything to *do* at Astoria Palawan besides lie on a beach? Because I can only "relax" for so long.
Relaxing is the *point*, but yes, there’s stuff! They have a pool (duh), a beach (obviously), and a spa (hallelujah!). They offer island hopping tours, which are totally worth it. You visit some incredible lagoons and beaches. Seriously, El Nido quality, only a bit closer. We went snorkeling, and I swear I saw a sea turtle giving me the stink eye. Or maybe it was just judging my snorkeling skills. Whichever. There's also jet skiing (thrilling!), kayaking (peaceful), and some jungle trekking (bring bug spray!). The "jungle" part is a bit… manicured, but still gets you out in the nature.
The food? Is it good? Because I NEED good food.
The food’s… okay. Look, I'm a foodie, okay? I have high standards. The breakfasts are good, especially the omelets. They have a decent selection of local and international dishes. The seafood is fresh, which is a major plus. But it's not *amazing*. It's a bit… hotel-y. You know? Safe. If you love super authentic, local flavors, venture out to some of the smaller restaurants off property. You will find the best food. But mostly, the food is fine. I never got food poisoning, which is a victory in itself, considering my usual travel luck.
Tell me more about this island hopping. Did you fall in love?
Okay, so island hopping. This is where Astoria *really* shines. It's not just a boat trip; it's a full-blown experience. The guides were awesome, super friendly and knowledgeable. The boat itself was comfortable, with plenty of shade. And the *islands*... Oh, the islands! Picture this: pure white sand, turquoise water so clear you can see the fish swimming beneath you, and dramatic limestone cliffs soaring into the sky. We visited a hidden lagoon that was otherworldly. We snorkeled through coral reefs teeming with colorful fish. I even saw a clownfish, which I’m pretty sure is the aquatic equivalent of finding a unicorn. And the lunch! They set up a picnic on a secluded beach, with grilled seafood, fresh fruit, and everything you could possibly want. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I almost cried again (the second day was the food, not the sunrise). It was the perfect blend of adventure and relaxation. The day was so beautiful, that I got too relaxed, and I accidentally left my favorite sunhat in the boat. 😩 I will never forgive myself. But seriously, the island-hopping is a must-do. That alone might make the whole Astoria experience worth it. That and the sunrises. And maybe the beds.
What are the downsides? Because *nothing* is perfect.
Okay, the downsides. Here's the real tea: It’s a bit pricey. Palawan isn't cheap, and Astoria is definitely at the luxury end of the spectrum. The service is generally good, but it's not always *impeccable*. Little things happen. Like sometimes the hot water runs out. And that aforementioned buggy wait time could be a dealbreaker for some. And you'll be amongst other tourists, so it's not exactly an isolated experience. If you're looking for complete solitude, maybe look elsewhere.
Is it good for families? Or romantic getaways?
Both! It's versatile. I saw plenty of families with kids having a blast. There are activities to keep them occupied, and the pools are a big hit, obviously. The villas offer space, which is a lifesaver. For couples, it's definitely romantic, especially if you get your own villa and can have your own private plunge pool. The sunsets are gorgeous. The spas are lovely. Just be prepared to share the moment with, well, other couples. But seriously, those sunsets are worth it.
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